Anyway, one of my items is to document every completed goal, and I’m a little behind on that (again). Since it’s Friday, a typically lower-blog-traffic day, I figured I’d get it out of the way now so I can do some more exciting posts next week.

Item #15: Read an entire book (minimum of 200 pages) in one day.

I actually completed this one twice over, because I read the first Pretty Little Liars book one day in July, and then The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants in August. This item was actually kinda scaring me, because it’s been years since I have been able to read a book for longer than half an hour or so without starting to nod off — no matter how amazing the book may be. So, I feel pretty good about being able to read TWO entire books in one day (each)!

Item #23: Make our home look more “homey” by putting up photos/art and other pretty things.

So I’m calling this one “done-ish” because I kind of did a bare minimum decorating job in our condo. There are some photos from our wedding up in the living room (along with curtains on the sliding glass doors! yay!), and I have some things set up on my side of the desk that are pretty and/or meaningful to me (souvenirs from Romania, for example). I would still like to paint the living room (and maybe bathroom) and come up with some sort of “theme” or decorative motif, but I gotta admit: I’m kind of waiting until we know we’re going to be settling down someplace. We’re not 100% sure whether we will be staying in Santa Barbara long-term, and if we do, we’re hoping that the housing market will turn around so that we can sell without losing money, and maybe look into getting a slightly larger place. (Basically, I’m kinda just deciding to drop this item for the time being, I guess. Call me a cheater if you want.)

Item #89: Volunteer for an event or organization.

Okay, I’m WAY overdue on blogging about this one. Back in April, I volunteered through work for a record-a-thon, where we got to read excerpts from various books that would be compiled for the benefit of students who are blind or struggle with dyslexia. The company that runs the program is called Recording for the Blind and Dyslexic, and it was a really fun day for me! I have considered signing up to volunteer there more regularly, but it’s going to have to wait until my life is just a teensy bit less hectic. Like maybe after I get done with all this crazy ambitious stuff like paying off loans, losing weight, and completing 101 items in 1001 days (to name a few).

Item #93: Tip 100% to an exceptional server at a restaurant.

This one happened fairly recently, on the day that Joe and I got up early to watch the sunrise at the Goleta Beach Pier. We went to our favorite breakfast spot, Domingo’s, afterwards, and there was only one server on duty for the early morning shift. Despite having about seven or eight tables (a few with 5+ people), she was incredibly helpful and friendly. Our food came out as quickly as usual, and she stopped by frequently to make sure we had everything we needed. I think the bill came out to about $22, so I made sure Joe was okay with it, and then I wrote the tip for the exact same amount. I didn’t stick around to see her reaction, but I hope she felt our appreciation for her awesome service!

Item #100: Post ten video blogs.

Okay, so before VEDA happened, this seemed like a really big undertaking. But now that I have (almost) 31 consecutive days of vlogging under my belt, I can’t imagine stopping now! I will be writing a more in-depth post next week about VEDA, but for now I’ll just say that yeah, I totally killed this goal. And if you missed any of my awesome (pshaw) vlogging action last month, you can just click here to see them all in one place! (Or, of course, you can go to my YouTube page and not only watch, but comment!)

***

Woo! I’m all caught up for now. Happy Friday, pals!

So here we go. This is gonna be really long, but the trip was a whirlwind of awesomeness, so I couldn’t really leave anything out!

Wednesday night we flew into Denver on a direct flight from LAX. There were 124 seats on the plane, and about 24 people actually on it. Talk about awesome, being able to sprawl across an entire row! We grabbed our gigantic SUV rental and drove the 45-minutes up to Boulder, where we checked into our hotel and promptly passed the heck out.

Thursday morning, we set out for a quick bite to eat at Vic’s Espresso where Joe had a breakfast burrito and a dark chocolate mocha, and I had a chocolate croissant and some spicy-cinnamon-type tea. After that, we drove to the neighborhood where Joe’s dad grew up (which has an amazing view of the mountains), and we met the sweetest lady, Jo, who is the daughter-in-law of the original owner of the house next door to the one my FIL grew up in. We also stopped by for a quick chat with Bill, Joe’s step-grandfather who now lives in that house. (He was a little shocked to see us there, as it had been years and years since he’d seen Joe.)

Later that morning, we picked up Joe’s granddad, John, from his nice retirement-community apartment and took him out for lunch at the South Side Walnut Cafe. John was full of stories about places he’d lived, jobs he’s had (he used to do some technical writing!), and the things he saw and experienced during his time in the Army. After our delicious meal (I had blueberry pancakes!), we walked across the parking lot to the Southern Sun Pub & Brewery where the server gave me a FREE sampling of four different beers before I settled on a delicious Blackberry Wheat. (The other three I tried — a ginger wheat, an amber, and one called “Quinn’s Golden” — were also very tasty.) More stories ensued from Granddad John, and then we dropped him back off at home so he could “do like old people do and take a nap.” (We took a nap, too.)

After our little nap, we grabbed some Italian sandwiches to go from Snarf’s in East Boulder and then headed up to Lyons, where Joe’s uncle Steve was playing a live outdoor concert with his awesome country/bluegrass band. That was my very first time meeting Steve, Barbara and one of their daughters (Greta), and it was tons of fun. The music was great, and the weather that night was just superb for laying down a blanket and nomming some good ol’ picnic food. Once the concert was over, we said goodbye to Joe’s family and headed back to the hotel.

Friday, on several people’s recommendations, we ventured to the Boulder Dushanbe Teahouse for brunch and, of course, tea. Joe had their “famous house chai” and I had their amazing Strawberry Lemon Twist herbal tea. It reminded me of the tea we had in Romania, but with a slightly different…well, twist. I’m definitely planning on buying some of that stuff online at some point. Anyway, the teahouse is absolutely stunning, with hand-carved columns, hand-painted ceilings and walls, and so much more. Just check out the website for a taste of how great this place is.

After brunch and tea, we took off for Carnes Cabin, which was built in the late ’50s by Joe’s granddad and uncle. The cabin is about five miles up a dirt road in the mountains, and I think by the time we reached it we had driven up to an elevation of nearly 10,000 feet. The road was seriously bumpy, and barely one lane wide at some parts, but we made it there and back with only slightly squeakier brakes on the rental (this is why we got an SUV and not some sissy economy car). The cabin was very cute and quaint, and definitely a place I would appreciate finding if I got stuck in the woods in a blizzard. The Boulder Carneses actually keep some canned food inside for just such an occasion, and the “padlock” on the front door can be easily broken off if an emergency should arise. We had a great time exploring every little corner of the cabin, including a small journal where people signed in whenever they visited. Except for Greta, Joe’s cousin, visiting the day before us, no one had been up there in a year prior to our stop, at least according to the journal.

Anyway, we goofed off a bit around the cabin, then trudged back down the mountain and headed to the Pearl Street Mall in downtown Boulder. It’s like a neverending street fair, about five blocks long, full of little shops and restaurants. We first checked out Maiberry, on the recommendation of a girl at Starbucks the night before. Maiberry is a lovely little frozen yogurt place which has all ORGANIC fruit toppings! I call that a win, and I devoured some plain frozen yogurt with blueberries. I actually asked for plain yogurt with Oreos originally, then I said, “Wait, can I try the blueberry?” (meaning I wanted to taste the blueberry flavored yogurt), but the guy heard, “Can I change that to blueberry?” so he topped my fro-yo with fruit instead of chocolate. I was actually quite happy with that, because the blueberries were supremely delicious. Joe got some weird concoction called the House Special which had a combination of plain yogurt and “glacée” (a shaved-ice sort of thing, but with more milky smoothness like ice cream?) and a bunch of chocolate toppings. He wasn’t keen on the texture, so I ended up eating about a third of his, too. (“Heffa status!” as my old friend Bree would say.)

After Maiberry, we strolled around Pearl Street a bit more, then headed to our hotel to clean up before having dinner with  our friends Paul and Liz and their two adorable kids. Unfortunately, we totally screwed up and thought that we were meeting them at 6 PM, only to realize the plan had been for 4 PM. So, we were pretty late, and felt absolutely terrible for that! But we made it there eventually (Littleton, that is) and had a ton of fun catching up with them. We all went out for dinner at a tasty Mexican place called Los Dos Portrillos, and I had a seriously delicious (but SERIOUSLY huge) plate of enchiladas, chile relleno, and beans and rice. After that, we headed back to Paul & Liz’s, and once they’d put the little ones to bed, Paul let Joe and me sample his hand-crafted homemade beers (a Kolsch and a Belgian dark, if that means anything to you guys), which were both very good. We sat around talking about Joe and Paul’s college days, work, babies (they’re expecting their third in a couple months!) and whatever else came up. It was a really nice visit, and we’re hoping to have more of them (both in CA and CO) whenever we can. Anyway, we left Littleton and headed back to Boulder once again for a restful night’s sleep before another full day of activities.

(Oh, but one terrible thing that happened right when we got home that night: I dropped my phone in the toilet! My new, beautiful HTC Incredible. The good miraculous news? It still works. Yay!)

Saturday, we slept in (bliss!) and thus didn’t end up having breakfast. Eventually we meandered back to Pearl Street, where we walked around for a good while, scoping out possible eateries and observing the weird (and sometimes cool) street performers. Once my stomach was growling loudly enough for the people two streets ahead to hear, we settled on a place called The Lazy Dog Bar & Grill, which had a rooftop seating area. It was a pretty warm day, but we got a seat in the shade of an umbrella, and we were right next to the wall so we could view the street below and the lovely courthouse building across the way. We both had burgers (Joe tried the buffalo!), and I also indulged in a tasty pomegranate margarita. I don’t usually do too well with tequila (like, two sips and I have a stomach ache, and it’s not one of those I-had-a-bad-experience-with-tequila-in-the-past kinda things), but it just looked too delicious to pass up. And hey! No stomach ache. Colorado does magical things for me, apparently.

Anyway, after lunch, we strolled around the Boulder Bookstore for awhile. This place is not your average Borders or Barnes & Noble. It had three floors (one at basement-level), tons of used-book areas where you could find great books at super discounted prices, and the atmosphere was simply lovely. It felt like walking through someone’s (very large) home library, with unique tables and shelves, places to lounge, and more books than I knew what to do with. I of course bought a few, including Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird — used — for like six bucks! I also found these sweet notecards that look like old-fashioned Polaroids. Can’t wait to send some more snail mail soon!

Eventually we left Pearl Street and got ready to head up to Joe’s uncle’s house in North Boulder, where we enjoyed dinner with Steve, Barbara, Greta, Laurie (their other daughter, whom I hadn’t met yet) and Granddad John. They made some delicious chicken, roasted potatoes, corn on the cob and a bunch of other stuff, along with brownies and ice cream for dessert. (I don’t know what it is about it, but Safeway Moose Tracks ice cream is WAY better than the stuff we get at Ralphs or Albertsons, dangit!) Anyway, we had a great time getting to know everyone, and later we showed them a 20-minute video tour of Joe’s parents’ house, since none of them has ever been there (I think). Granddad John gave us a bag full of old sterling silver pieces to take back for Joe’s dad, and there was some super cool stuff in there!

Oh, and right before we left, Greta introduced me to their adorable pet hedgehog Phoebe, but I didn’t get to see her for long because she’s been really sick. They think she might have cancer…so sad! But I can tell you this: Kyla’s love of hedgehogs is not unfounded. They are seriously (and surprisingly) cute!

Sunday we got up early and went to the local Foursquare church, which we’d found just by googling “Foursquare church in Boulder.” There were about 30 people there, so it was very obvious who the “new faces” were (that is to say, ours), but it wasn’t awkward. We were greeted warmly by several people, and chatted with a few more after the service. It turns out the senior pastor knows our pastor here in Santa Barbara, which was a fun coincidence. (Side note: I really wanted to check in to Foursquare saying, “I’m at a Foursquare church! It’s like, foursquare squared!” but the church wasn’t listed as a venue on Foursquare yet, and I didn’t feel like adding it.) Anyway, if fate ever brings us to live in or around Boulder, we feel like that’s probably the place where we’ll go to church. The service and the people were all lovely, and Joe and I both felt like we could fit in well there.

After the church service, we went to the Celestial Seasonings Tea Factory. Did you know that Celestial Seasonings started (and is still completely run) in Boulder? The tour was excellent, but my favorite part was right before the tour, when we got to sample a ton of different teas — as much as we wanted! My second favorite part was the Mint Room, which we saw during the tour. They keep all their mints (peppermint, spearmint, and catnip (seriously)) contained in a giant room, because otherwise they would contaminate the flavors of all the other teas. Anyway, you walk into this room and your lungs, eyes, nose and mouth start to feel a little freaky, because of the overwhelming aroma and whatnot. But my sinuses cleared up in seconds, which was a super cool sensation.

So Celestial Seasonings was tons of fun. I think Joe’s parents actually knew one of the couples who first started it, so that was a cool little connection.

For lunch, we decided to check out Foolish Craig’s Cafe, but it was already about 2 PM and we were meeting Ashley for dinner at 5, so we had to try to keep it light. Well…that didn’t exactly happen. We both tried the “Altitude Adjustment” which was a savory crepe filled with ham, green peppers, onions, scrambled eggs, and cheddar cheese, with a side of house potatoes. It was possibly THE most delicious meal we’d had during the trip thus far, and that’s really saying something. We complimented the food and told our server that “Craig” should really open up about a hundred more of these restaurants, but he said that it was totally owner-operated and Craig wasn’t looking to expand. Dangit. Guess we have to move to Boulder so we can eat there every day.

So anyway, a couple hours later we met up with Ashalah at The Med, which I’d been looking forward to ever since she told me about it. They have TAPAS! And maybe I haven’t properly expressed this (or expressed it at all) in my blog, but I am newly obsessed with tapas, thanks to Helly. The first (awesome) time I had it was in Anaheim, the second (crappy) was in Santa Barbara, the third (awesome) was in Vegas, and this was going to be my fourth experience with tapas. Well, let me tell you: It was spectacular. The prices were super cheap, as tapas is meant to be, and the food was absolutely delicious. The three of us shared seven different items, and we were all sufficiently full by the end of it. Oh, and I tried my first bellini, which is champagne with blood orange juice (so, like a mimosa, only better). So The Med (along with every other place I’ve talked about in this post) is a must-visit if you’re ever going to be in Boulder, mmkay?

After we finished our delectable tapas plates (as if we weren’t already full enough), we grabbed some frozen yogurt at Boulder Chill and also some wine and scotch at a local liquor store. Then we headed back to Ashley’s condo, where Joe poured us all a glass of Glenfiddich (well, he had a glass and Ashley and I shared one). We chatted for a while, then vlogged together on Ashley’s computer, then played a game of Clue (I won!), and then things really started to get fun. I busted out the white wine and decided we needed to play a game of Uno. Ashley just so happened to have HARRY POTTER UNO, which was basically amazing. We ended up playing three games, two of which I won and the other one Ashley won (poor Joe…). During this time, I was drinking the white wine a bit more quickly than I realized (oops) and pretty soon I was getting really silly. I can’t adequately describe the rest of the night in words, so instead I will (with slight hesitation) show you my vlog from that night.

So anyway, after I finished petting Ashalah’s cat (which I didn’t have nearly as bad an allergic reaction to as usual, thank goodness), Joe took me home and I promptly felt like crap for the next five hours. It was really, really stupid of me to drink THAT. MUCH. WINE. in one night, especially at a higher altitude, which supposedly intensifies the effects when you’re not used to it. I was back and forth between the toilet and the bed, but I never actually threw up (in case you were wondering). I think I probably got about four hours of sleep, and then we had to get up and packed up to drive back to Denver for our return flight on Monday.

And that was our trip to Colorado!

I actually have a ton of video footage that I’m putting together to post on YouTube, so I’ll link to that once it’s all ready to go. (I also just realized I hardly said anything about the weather in Boulder, which could’ve added another 37 paragraphs. Basically, the weather was awesomely warm, clear and beautiful.)

So tell me: Have you ever been to Boulder? What did I miss out on that I absolutely HAVE to check out next time we’re there?

Also, sorry this post was so obscenely long. I just didn’t want to forget anything (well, except maybe those last few hours between Sunday night and Monday morning). I need to get better about recounting all the fun things I do in life, because I want to remember it all!

Twenty weeks ago, I weighed 167.8 pounds. It wasn’t the heaviest I’ve ever been, but it was creeping up there.

Last week, I weighed 153.0 pounds. In four months, I lost 14.8 pounds.

Today…

Starting weight (4/21/10): 167.8
Last week’s weight: 153.0
Current weight: 153.0
This week’s loss: 0 lbs
Net difference: -14.8 lbs

Well, today’s photo looks freakishly similar to last week’s photo, doesn’t it? That’s because I didn’t gain or lose any weight this past week.

And you know what?

I’m really okay with that. See, I flew to Colorado last Wednesday and didn’t get back until Monday night. The only exercise I got in Boulder was walking around every day, and I ate (and drank) more than I really should have. I mean, I didn’t go terribly overboard, but I definitely enjoyed plenty of delicious food in Boulder. There were too many amazing restaurants that we just HAD to try out, ya know?

Anyway, the point is, I didn’t get in a REAL workout until last night, so all things considered, I am perfectly satisfied with having lost zero pounds this week. I am even MORE satisfied with having gained zero pounds this week.

In other news, I didn’t manage to post anything during my trip, and all my photos are on my computer at home, so the Colorado recap post will come soon! It was, in a word, WONDERFUL.

Tagged: weight loss ]]> http://probablytabitha.com/2010/09/01/weigh-in-wednesday-week-20/feed/ 7 Tabitha WIW_photo 09.01.10 http://probablytabitha.com/2010/08/25/weigh-in-wednesday-unexpected-awesomeness/ http://probablytabitha.com/2010/08/25/weigh-in-wednesday-unexpected-awesomeness/#comments Wed, 25 Aug 2010 14:48:59 +0000 Tabitha http://probablytabitha.com/?p=1566 ]]>

Okay you guys, I gotta keep this short because I’m only working a half day today and I have a FULL day’s worth of stuff to get done before Joe and I leave for Colorado!

Basically, I was shocked when I stepped on the scale this morning. The past two weeks, I’ve gained a total of 1.6 pounds, and I honestly thought that this week would be another gain, or if I was really lucky, I might lose a pound AT MOST.

Not so.

Starting weight (4/21/10): 167.8
Last week’s weight: 156.0
Current weight: 153.0
This week’s loss: -3.0 lbs
Net difference: -14.8 lbs

Check that out, you guys. Not only did I lose all of the weight I had gained in the last two weigh-ins, but I lost ANOTHER 1.4 pounds on top of that, making this my lowest weight yet!

I was pretty floored when I saw that, and I had to step on and off the scale a few times just to make sure it wasn’t some kind of fluke.

This little, unexpected victory today makes me feel more pumped than ever, especially because I am only three pounds away from reaching 150! Which means that my ultimate goal of 145 is not that far off, either. I honestly couldn’t picture myself ever reaching 145 until this morning.

So yay! And in other news, I apologize in advance if I totally slack off on posting until next week’s weigh-in. Like I said earlier, I’m going to Colorado tonight and won’t be back until Monday, but I am taking my laptop so I can do my VEDA vlogs, so I’ll see if I can throw in a post or two, too.

Happy Wednesday!

***

Oh, and also: Today’s VEDA topic is “Who Inspires You on the Internet”, and I shouted out to a few of you who may not be watching me daily, so check it out!

Gush.

Gush gush gush. Swoon. Squee!

BAHAHAHA! Gush. Snicker. Swoon.

GUSH.

UNO!

***

More on that later, if I ever manage to stop being all giddy and scatterbrained. In the meantime, you might get a better idea of how it went if you watch these awesome videos.

Ashley’s:

Mine:

Melissa’s:

Nico’s:

I recognize now that, to my potentially younger crowd of readers (teenaged cousins who might come across my imported posts on Facebook), it may seem pretty out of character — and, okay, downright “sinful” — for me to take this class. To be honest, when Helly suggested it as one of our Vegas activities, my first thought was, “That sounds like so much fun…but maybe I shouldn’t do it.”

(Side note: the issue of “how it comes across to other people, especially those in my family” is one to deal with in a different post, maybe, but I will say that I did not intend to offend anyone, and I certainly don’t wish to be a bad influence on my younger family members. This is when blogging non-anonymously gets sticky, but it’s a risk I take because I prefer to be completely honest whenever possible.)

So why did I end up deciding to go ahead with it?

This is where maintaining tastefulness starts to get tricky….

The main reason I chose to take this class was because, after only a year of marriage, Joe and I are having some struggles in our sex life. It’s admittedly pretty bland and routine, and that’s almost entirely my fault. Without going into detail, I will just say that my sex drive and Joe’s are very, very unbalanced, and because of this (and other factors), many of our encounters leave one or both of us feeling not-quite-fulfilled — sometimes emotionally, sometimes physically. So when the idea of this class came up, I gave it a lot of thought and decided that it could be a great way to bring some excitement to the bedroom.

I’m going to embarrass myself right now and tell you that nine times out of ten, when I’m the one to initiate sex, it’s usually something like this:

1. Get naked (sometimes throw on some lingerie).
2. Climb into bed.
3. Lie there until Joe notices me.
4. Have sex.

And Joe has expressed, understandably, that it would be nice if once in awhile I actually asserted myself sexually rather than just flopping down as if to say, “Here I am, let’s do this.” I don’t know when I lost my ability to flirt with my husband, but I need to find it again. Foreplay? Taking off my clothes in a sexy way rather than just…taking them off? I need to make these things a part of my sexual repertoire.

Enter “Stripper 101.” This class is actually not, technically, a class on stripping. The two basic things we learned were lap dancing and pole dancing, though the instructor did throw in a quick how-to on taking off the bra and panties without tripping over yourself. I’m not going to act like this was all “serious business”, like I was taking the class because I need to improve my sexual practices (although I do) and I planned on taking notes or anything (although I kind of wish I HAD, because I’m already hazy on a lot of what we learned). No: While I did have serious motives, I still managed to let loose, and I had so much fun. Being in a room with 35 other girls, of all ages and sizes and levels of awkwardness, was somehow wonderfully empowering for me. I obviously can’t know what everyone else’s motivations were for taking the class, but I would bet that at least a handful were there for the same reasons as me: to spice up their marital sex lives. And I don’t think there is anything wrong with that! (Now, maybe there were girls there who wanted to spice up their non-marital sex lives, or who really DO want to get into the stripping business. While I may not morally agree with those choices, it’s really not my business to judge them.)

Anyway. The lap dancing tips were so much fun to learn, and I honestly believe that beginning to incorporate those moves (and sexy facial expressions, which we also learned, ha) is going to help HUGELY with my relationship and sex life with Joe. The pole dancing? Well, we’re not going to be installing a pole in the bedroom anytime soon, so maybe that part wasn’t so much practical as just insanely fun to play around with. But if the opportunity should ever arise for me to be in a room with Joe (and only Joe) and a pole? You can bet I will be showing off what I learned.

I thought about going into more detail regarding what exactly we learned in the class, but it’s not really important in the context of this post. What’s important is that this class, though perhaps a bit taboo or maybe even a little offensive to some, is one step toward being a better flirt, a better sex partner, and a better wife. And for that reason, I have absolutely NO regrets, and I am glad that I had (and jumped at) the opportunity to leave my comfort zone a little. I have a feeling my husband will be glad, too.

Yesterday, the topic for VEDA (Vlog Every Day in August, in case you live in a box) was “Self-Image.” People put forth some pretty raw, honest stuff in their videos, and it was truly moving to realize how connected this little vlogging community has become in just a couple of weeks. But a bunch of us also pointed out that there was so much we left out of our Self-Image videos. So I’m taking Nora’s title from her post today, because I want to address the things I didn’t say in my video yesterday.

First, let’s do this weigh-in thing.

Starting weight (4/21/10): 167.8
Last week’s weight: 155.2
Current weight: 156.0
This week’s loss: +0.8 lbs
Net difference: -11.8 lbs

I gained a little in Vegas, and I was expecting that. This week I’m stepping it back up again, and I hope to be down at least a pound by next week. I’m happy with my overall progress, and I’m keeping it real in terms of accepting these last couple weeks of gaining weight, but two gains in a row IS a motivator for sure. So we’ll see how it goes between now and next weigh-in.

Now on to the serious stuff.

I think I came across in my video yesterday like I have it all together. Like I’m full of confidence and I see myself exactly as I am. But you guys, buried in the middle of that video, I also said, “I struggle on a daily basis with criticizing myself when I look in the mirror.” I said it like, “Every girl feels this way, so obviously so do I, but it’s no big deal.”

It’s a big deal.

Body dysmorphic disorder by definition is probably more extreme than what I struggle with, because I’m not debilitated by my perceptions of my body. But more often than not, I know that when I look in the mirror, what I’m seeing is not what YOU see when you look at me. I’ve lost 12 pounds, yet I still see the 170-pound girl staring back at me in the mirror most days. Some days I notice the change in my midsection, but my thighs, arms, and calves? I still hate them.

I never used to be a dress person, primarily because I hated showing my legs. I have always been self conscious about the size of my calves, the pudge above my knees, and the jiggle of my thighs. (I think it started when I realized that I couldn’t buy a pair of knee-high boots because they wouldn’t zip over my calves.) So, okay. I love wearing dresses now. But I still hate the sight of my legs in them. (I usually just try not to look at my legs when I wear dresses; instead I focus on keeping my tummy tucked in and feeling good about how feminine I look.)

I go to spin class because I love it, but also because I keep wishing that after this next session, my calves will shrink and become more visibly toned. It’s happening. I know this because I take measurements monthly, and because I can compare photos from years ago with recent ones. But on a day-to-day basis, I just don’t see it.

And here’s the part where I may seem to contradict myself, or something.

Like I mentioned in my video, there is one thing that has been a huge help in improving my self image: my husband. I want to say more about this, but I first want to give you a little background about me and compliments.

I’ve never been good at accepting compliments, and part of the reason is that I have held on to the insults from years and years ago much too tightly. I was completely flat chested until college (and even now, I barely fill in a B cup…barely). The boy I had a crush on in 7th grade used to call me “the beast with two backs,” and he told me once that he would never go out with me because people would think he was gay (I didn’t dress very girly back then). I was rejected in high school by a handful of guy friends who always said, “You’re cool and any guy would be lucky to go out with you,” followed immediately by, “…but I just don’t like you in that way.” They always skirted my questions about whether they thought I was pretty. It took a LOT of guys finally taking notice of me toward the end of high school and the first year of college before I started to believe I was remotely attractive.

I also learned a lot of bad behavior through the media, like rejecting compliments because it actually made people give them more frrequently. (“You don’t have to lie; I know I’m not that pretty,” was always followed with, “No, I’m not lying! You ARE pretty!”) But even though I was aching for more compliments, more affirmation, I never let myself take them as truth. It’s sickening, looking back on this stuff.

I AM beautiful. I know this now because I finally let someone tell me so, and I didn’t dismiss his remarks. Sure, sometimes I still catch myself saying, “But what about this?” when Joe says, “You look so sexy right now.” But on the whole, I’m letting him tell me how beautiful he finds me, because I believe him. He doesn’t just tell me I’m beautiful because he knows I want to hear it. He tells me because he can’t help but tell me. And then he shows me just how beautiful he finds me. *snicker*

Anyway, I feel like there is still a ton more I could say about all this.** I guess I just wanted to touch on a few things so that you know I don’t have it all figured out, but I’m getting there.

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How’s your fitness/weight loss journey going?

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**Case in point: I didn’t mention anything about my family’s weight struggles; I didn’t talk about my perception of myself as a person (not just body image, but also personality, attitude, etc.); I left out the fact that I used to kiss boys just because they wanted to kiss me and I thought that would make me feel beautiful and worthwhile; I didn’t tell you about how I took a class in Vegas this past weekend called “Stripper 101″ and WHY I took it and how it turned out… (Okay, that last one is going to have to be a post all its own. So, watch out. It’s coming.)

And I did. I spun my freakin’ heart out last night, and within two hours after that sweatfest, I began to experience NEW symptoms. Every time I stood up from sitting or bending over, I’d get a rush of intense pain shooting up my neck and into the base of my skull. My head started feeling cloudy again, but in a somehow different way than it had been doing last week. So, I went to bed last night and thought, “Well, I’ll feel better in the morning.”

Not so. I feel bizarre, and uncomfortable, and a little freaked out. And you know what really DOESN’T help (besides having to be at WORK right now)?

Looking up my symptoms on WebMD.

Please reference the following conversation I had with my husband over Gchat a few minutes ago:

Tabitha: According to WebMD, I may have one or more of the following conditions: acute sinusitis, tension headache, fibromyalgia, anemia, high blood pressure, stroke, muscle strain, nearsightedness, chronic sinusitis, aseptic meningitis, low blood pressure, cluster headache, acute kidney failure, heart attack (female), mononucleosis, thalassemia…or ALL OF THE ABOVE !!!!

Joseph: lol
wow
Well, guess you are about to die. Nice knowing you.

Tabitha: Butthead.
Man, WebMD totally freaks me out though. Any time you select a neck pain, it’s like, “IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING NECK PAIN, GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE YOU ARE DYING. SERIOUSLY.”

So yeah. WebMD has me thinking that I have both high AND low blood pressure, and clearly I am also having a heart attack (but only because I’m female?) AND I have mono, so watch out everyone or I might just kiss you and pass it on.

In other news, if this weird series of symptoms doesn’t disappear by this time tomorrow, I plan on drinking enough alcohol in Vegas to sterilize every last trace of illness in my body because I WILL enjoy myself in Sin City. (Dear Mom: I’m exagerrating. I promise I won’t drink THAT much alcohol…)

Oh, hi there, little blog of mine. Did you miss me these last seven days that I haven’t posted one single time? (Sorry about that.) I’ve been pretty busy with VEDA and 365, plus my dad’s birthday party and my first anniversary.

But enough with the excuses. I’m here today, for the 17th consecutive week, to tell you what the scale did this morning. And yes, I worded that last sentence carefully, so as not to say, “to tell you about my weight loss this week,” because that would be a lie. I did not lose weight this week.

Starting weight (4/21/10): 167.8
Last week’s weight: 154.4
Current weight: 155.2
This week’s loss: +0.8 lbs
Net difference: -12.6 lbs

So I gained almost a pound, and like I said in the title, I’m neither surprised nor upset by this. I’m not saying I’m happy about it; it’s just that I know exactly why it happened.

I only worked out once since last week’s weigh-in, and I was understandably not on track with my eating due to parties and my lovely anniversary. Then Monday of this week, I woke up feeling like I was run over by a truck, so I’ve been taking it easy since then. (I feel much better today and plan on kicking booty in spin class tonight.)

I’m actually a bit relieved that I didn’t gain more than 0.8 pounds.

And, I’ll be honest, I won’t be surprised if next week’s weigh-in isn’t totally stellar, either, because I’m going to VEGAS this weekend! I’m not planning on binging or anything, but I will be enjoying a 24-hour buffet (not, like, eating 24 hours straight, but spending a set amount of money and being able to eat however much I want for the day). I will also be lounging by the pool. I will also also be taking a fun little class with Helly (more on that in a future post), and that should help me burn some calories, along with the tons and tons of walking I’m sure we’ll be doing. Basically, next week’s weigh-in will depend upon what I do when I get back from Vegas.

Considering the latter half of this journey thus far has taken place during the summer, when most people go OFF their diet and exercise routines, I am very happy with my progress, and I’ll take a little gain here and there if it means I get to enjoy myself.

Anyway, I am sorry about the lack of posts around here! I’m hoping to ramp it up again soon, but in the meantime, I highly encourage you to check out the VEDA and Project 365 tabs up at the top of my page there, because I’m having a blast with both of those little endeavors.

Happy Wednesday!

I feel like I have been doing this weigh-in thing for approximately thirty-seven years. And I’ve only been ALIVE for twenty-five years, so you catch my drift. But even though I’m beginning to feel a little annoyed by the repetititiveness (repetitivity? so not a word, but I like it) of weighing in and agonizing over what might show up on the scale each week, I will not stop. It’s the only thing that has EVER kept me on track with getting healthy, and I’m not about to quit, now that I’m closer to my ultimate goal than I am far away from it. (I mean, I’m over halfway to the finish line from where I started in April.)

Anyway, last week I mentioned that my mini-goal for my anniversary (THIS SUNDAY!!) was to get down to 155.0 or less. That’s 0.8 pounds less than what I weighed last week, which sounds easy, but listen. I had pizza for dinner two nights in a row last week. And those two nights were pretty indicative of the rest of my week’s eating habits, too. AND I didn’t really work out from last Wednesday through Saturday.

BUT. I hit the gym on Sunday and ran 2.5 miles (plus another half mile of warm-up/cool-down walking). I hit the gym on Monday for the early morning spin class. I hit the gym on Tuesday for some weights and this awesome treadmill run. What I’m saying is, I tried desperately to make up for my laziness the first four days of the weigh-in week. So, was it enough?

To be honest, I didn’t think it would be. I was expecting to be around the same weight as last week, give or take 0.2 pounds. However…

This is what I saw (and checked multiple times) this morning:

Starting weight (4/21/10): 167.8
Last week’s weight: 155.8
Current weight: 154.4
This week’s loss: -1.4 lbs
Net difference: -13.4 lbs

Boo to the YAH, people. I am stoked. I’m so stoked, in fact, that I dedicated today’s VEDA video to this very topic. So, check it out if you want! I talked about a few things I didn’t mention in this post, so it won’t be too repetitive, hopefully.

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Who’s in on the weigh-in action this week? Share your links so we can spread the motivation and encouragement!