On Taking “Stripper 101″ In Vegas: Why I Did It & How It Went
I’m going to try to write this post as tastefully as possible, because I don’t just want to yap about how much fun I had taking a class called Stripper 101 (even though I had SO. MUCH. FUN!). I want to express my motivation for taking it, the reason I feel justified in having taken it, and what I got out of it.
I recognize now that, to my potentially younger crowd of readers (teenaged cousins who might come across my imported posts on Facebook), it may seem pretty out of character — and, okay, downright “sinful” — for me to take this class. To be honest, when Helly suggested it as one of our Vegas activities, my first thought was, “That sounds like so much fun…but maybe I shouldn’t do it.”
(Side note: the issue of “how it comes across to other people, especially those in my family” is one to deal with in a different post, maybe, but I will say that I did not intend to offend anyone, and I certainly don’t wish to be a bad influence on my younger family members. This is when blogging non-anonymously gets sticky, but it’s a risk I take because I prefer to be completely honest whenever possible.)
So why did I end up deciding to go ahead with it?
This is where maintaining tastefulness starts to get tricky….
The main reason I chose to take this class was because, after only a year of marriage, Joe and I are having some struggles in our sex life. It’s admittedly pretty bland and routine, and that’s almost entirely my fault. Without going into detail, I will just say that my sex drive and Joe’s are very, very unbalanced, and because of this (and other factors), many of our encounters leave one or both of us feeling not-quite-fulfilled — sometimes emotionally, sometimes physically. So when the idea of this class came up, I gave it a lot of thought and decided that it could be a great way to bring some excitement to the bedroom.
I’m going to embarrass myself right now and tell you that nine times out of ten, when I’m the one to initiate sex, it’s usually something like this:
- Get naked (sometimes throw on some lingerie).
- Climb into bed.
- Lie there until Joe notices me.
- Have sex.
And Joe has expressed, understandably, that it would be nice if once in awhile I actually asserted myself sexually rather than just flopping down as if to say, “Here I am, let’s do this.” I don’t know when I lost my ability to flirt with my husband, but I need to find it again. Foreplay? Taking off my clothes in a sexy way rather than just…taking them off? I need to make these things a part of my sexual repertoire.
Enter “Stripper 101.” This class is actually not, technically, a class on stripping. The two basic things we learned were lap dancing and pole dancing, though the instructor did throw in a quick how-to on taking off the bra and panties without tripping over yourself. I’m not going to act like this was all “serious business”, like I was taking the class because I need to improve my sexual practices (although I do) and I planned on taking notes or anything (although I kind of wish I HAD, because I’m already hazy on a lot of what we learned). No: While I did have serious motives, I still managed to let loose, and I had so much fun. Being in a room with 35 other girls, of all ages and sizes and levels of awkwardness, was somehow wonderfully empowering for me. I obviously can’t know what everyone else’s motivations were for taking the class, but I would bet that at least a handful were there for the same reasons as me: to spice up their marital sex lives. And I don’t think there is anything wrong with that! (Now, maybe there were girls there who wanted to spice up their non-marital sex lives, or who really DO want to get into the stripping business. While I may not morally agree with those choices, it’s really not my business to judge them.)
Anyway. The lap dancing tips were so much fun to learn, and I honestly believe that beginning to incorporate those moves (and sexy facial expressions, which we also learned, ha) is going to help HUGELY with my relationship and sex life with Joe. The pole dancing? Well, we’re not going to be installing a pole in the bedroom anytime soon, so maybe that part wasn’t so much practical as just insanely fun to play around with. But if the opportunity should ever arise for me to be in a room with Joe (and only Joe) and a pole? You can bet I will be showing off what I learned.
I thought about going into more detail regarding what exactly we learned in the class, but it’s not really important in the context of this post. What’s important is that this class, though perhaps a bit taboo or maybe even a little offensive to some, is one step toward being a better flirt, a better sex partner, and a better wife. And for that reason, I have absolutely NO regrets, and I am glad that I had (and jumped at) the opportunity to leave my comfort zone a little. I have a feeling my husband will be glad, too.
I LOVE this post and I love that you did this!! And thank you for sharing and being so honest – I’m sure this will relate to women everywhere. It’s funny how these sort of things lure you with the name “STRIPPER!” – I still remember being thoroughly disappointed with the Carmen Electra DVDs when it ended up being a glorified version of pushups and situps, haha. I’m totally going to look into seeing if they have something like this here
Definitely something to be said about how “stripper” grabs your attention. I don’t think “Pole Dancing 101″ would’ve packed the same punch
On behalf of Stripper 101 I’d like to say BRAVO! Tabitha you explained exactly why Stripper 101 is the ultimate experience for women. That is what we strive to achieve and instill in the ladies that take our class. We want you to feel empowered, sexy and beautiful, inside & out. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and helping shed some good light on our class. It may seem a little risque but so was wearing shirts that showed your shoulders at one point and look how far we’ve come from that. I hope that other women feel inspired and take away the same things that you did. Go strut your stuff! And don’t forget to GRAB LIFE BY THE POLE!
Courtney
Executive Director of Stripper 101
http://www.stripper101.com
If it makes you feel any better, it *is* normal to have unbalanced sex drives– I believe it’s one of the fundamental differences between men and women. Honestly? Half the time hubby initiates it, I go along only out of “obligation”. Now, most of those “obligatory” sessions do end up with me saying “okay, that wasn’t such a bad idea”, but it’s still far more common for Allan to be the one “on the prowl”.
It sounds like, even if you never use any of the actual moves we learned, the class was still good for you, in that it drew you out of your comfort zone.
And I don’t remember if you were at church the day Pastor Jim began his “month of sex” series, but I wholeheartedly agree with what he said to start it off: that once you’re married, what goes on in the bedroom is totally no-holds-barred, anything goes.
p.s. not posting the details of what we learned is also a good idea– remember, if we flub the moves, our husbands will have no idea we’re doing it wrong if they don’t know what we’re *supposed* to be doing
p.p.s. I have some gnarly, ugly bruises on the bottom of my shin from that dang pole. Oww!
Great Post!
I’ve been married for four months and I’ve been a little surprised lately that having spicy sex is ALREADY getting difficult! We were fortunate to start off pretty strong — both of us are willing to try almost anything and comfortable directing one-another. But at the end of the day, as you mentioned, we have VERY different sex drives. This class sounds like a great way to get new ideas and remind you of some important things: initiating. being sexy for your husband. etc. Another married friend and I were talking the other day and one things is for certain: us girls need to keep being honest about our sex lives and support one another. Good luck to you and the hubby… as they say, it only gets better through the years (if you put the effort in). xo
This was really cool of you to take intitiative on your relationship and do something about it. There are many men out there that would love to have thier wife do the same. I know I will be showing my wife this blog. Thanks!
that is really cool. yes, like you two, we have different sex drives. i wish that i was able to go to it every night with passion and excitement and all that jazz. the honest truth, though, isn’t that i don’t have the drive, it’s (tmi probably) that the no baby pills are causing crazy weird spotty stuff ALL. THE. TIME. and it’s REALLY hard to feel sexy when you’re leaky. double especially when you just washed the sheets and they’re nice and clean and you KNOW if something goes down tonight, they AIN’T gonna be that way anymore… yeah. probably shared too much.
anyway, i’m really happy that you were able to do that and that you had FUN doing it. if we ever run a little dry, you better believe i’ll be hitting you up for some tips.
This post is great, you are so brave. I would not have the Guts to take the stripper 101 class…or blog about it but I am glad you did because I am pretty sure every married woman can relate to
it!
I love how honest you were about your life with your husband and the class. I’ve been really interested in a class like this for the exercise benefits and I really don’t see anything wrong with the class itself. (Strippers? Now that’s another story!) I think it’s a great way to spice up your love life and can offer health benefits, as well as getting women to be more comfortable with their bodies and sexuality!
You rock.
Thank you for writing this and for being so completely honest about your relationship/marriage. That must have been hard to open up like this, but as you can see from the comments (and I am not exception), this relates to a whole lot of women and their relationships.
Kudos to you!
There is nothing like feeling empowered and beautiful, and it sounds like this class was a fun and positive way to get in touch with that part of you – I love it!
I would have been WAY up there on the sliding scale of awkward, but it sounds like fun! lol
Great post! I’ve been wanting to take a class like this for some time. Though I’m unmarried, for me it’s about having fun, boosting confidence, and getting a great workout! Pole dancing, especially, amazes me because of the sheer muscle you’ve got to have. I’ll never have a pole in my single or married bedroom, but the fun of a class like that would be so worth it!
I’m sorry, but I definitely snickered when you described how you initiate sex.
Fantastic post! I love that you did this and shared it with your blog readers!
I agree with everyone! yay you for being so honest! and anything to spice up the sex life is a great thing.
Love the honesty in this post Tabitha! I think you had great reasons for taking this class and I’m glad that you had the opportunity.
I am such of fan of you doing this. A lot. So brave and something that I would be SO AWKWARD doing.
I WAS TOTALLY IN THIS CLASS WITH YOU!! Just kidding… I have always been curious about Pole Dancing and Lap Dancing… The most I’ve done with a pole is hug it, and that’s usually from some sort of public transit with turbulence
And I don’t care what anyone says… it is completely sexy to “flop” and get r’ done (sort of speak). It’s like, “Hey Baby, I am here. And I am ready for *you*”. Anyways… thank you lady for being so honest, it is really refreshing.
Cheers!