Goal #36: Family
I’m going to be catching up on some of my 101 in 1001 items this week, because there are several I’ve completed but haven’t blogged about (and one of my items is to blog about every completed goal!).
Today I’m covering #36, which is:
Visit my grandmother once a month for six months.
(Sorry if my tone in this post is super depressing; it IS Monday morning, after all.)
Around the end of last year, my grandmother moved from her home (about two hours north of here) to a care facility a few miles from where I live. I know that visiting once a month sounds pretty pathetic, considering how close she lives to me, but I knew even that much would be a challenge for me. I mean, sometimes a whole SEASON goes by before Joe and I get together with our downstairs neighbors for dinner or games. Plus, it is admittedly draining to spend time with my grandma, because she is becoming more forgetful and a bit spacey.
But most of the times I’ve seen her since she moved down here have been very fulfilling and enjoyable on the whole. I actually managed to visit her twice in some months, and saw her at a few other family occasions when she was driven to an event like Mother’s Day or my cousin’s birthday luncheon.
My mom, grandma and I went out for a little excursion to enjoy some frozen yogurt. (New Year's Day 2010)
It’s not easy to see how frail and confused my grandma is these days, and then to remember how vibrant and vocal she was all my years growing up. It’s also not easy to see her heartbroken and lonely, since my grandfather decided to throw away their marriage after 56 years and pursue a destructive relationship with a much younger woman. But in spite of her degenerating health, she is still a very strong-willed woman, and her spirits seem to be higher now than they have been in past months.
Joe and I with my grandparents on our wedding day, August 8, 2009. (This was just a month or so before my grandfather's affair came out.)
I’m thankful to have her so close by, and I plan to continue to visit her and spend time showing her my love. She has always been a difficult person to deal with, but she is full of love for her large family (including 24 grandchildren and five great-grandchildren!).
At my aunt & uncle's house in Montecito (can you see the ocean in the background?) -- March 12, 2010
Oh, what a heartfelt post. It’s hard seeing loved ones deteriorate – I last saw my nan 2 years ago and it was difficult then to see her forgetting things and telling the same stories multiple times – such a change from the vibrant lady who taught me so much growing up. I’m sure your visits mean the world to your grandma, and I love that this is one of your goals. <3
It’s definitely difficult to watch our parents and grandparents get older. My Gram is fortunately still very much independent but she tends to repeat herself… a lot, and that worries me. She’s not quite as mobile as she once was but thankfully she’s here in StL and though we have had a rocky relationship at times, it’s a blessing to have her near us. I’m glad that you’re able to see your Gram on a regular basis! She must love it!
this post made me smile.
I am glad that you were able to visit your grandma so often. My grandma is difficult to deal with too and as terrible as it sounds, I probably wouldn’t go visit her much.
I have such a great relationship with my own grandmother. She’s currently undergoing chemotherapy but has such a strong faith and peaceful spirit. I visit her every Sunday and it’s the best time catching up with her.
I think we can tend to forget about our grandparents as we grow up and evolve into our own lives. It’s just natural, but major props for taking time to visit her and showing her you care.
I’m glad you are taking time to visit her. It’s nice that she’s so close to you. I’d love it if you could get her to take a walk with you when you visit. I think it’s good for her to be outdoors once in awhile. Her friend Josie took her for a walk just the other day, and she said she really enjoyed it. She seems in pretty good spirits these days other than being bored. I’m amazed at that because these are tough times for our family!
I cannot believe your grandfather did that to her…
That breaks my heart for her. It’s wonderful that you’re making an effort to spend more time with her. She must be so appreciative for you, whether she knows it all the time or not.
ash – that’s awful about your grandfather, and i’m so sorry for your grandmother. it’s great that this is one of your goals.
this is very hard to read, but even harder to go through. i’m so sorry that you are dealing with this right now. what a great gift you have had though to be able to have that goal!
Try to see your Grandma as much as you can… you never know how much longer she’ll be around. I am saying that because I lost my Granddad earlier this year rather unexpectedly.
I cannot believe your Grandfather left her after 56 (!) years… why would you separate after THAT long of a time? This is really beyond me. I am so sorry.