PS – I’m tickled you wish I was one of those girls. If only I could pick up my life and plop it down in California!

http://www.meetup.com/

My girlfriends are the friends I’ve had since middle school and college. Two of them live away but I do seem them every few months or so. My other best girl friend lives in the same town as I do so we are together frequently for coffee dates, shopping dates, etc. I show up at her house randomly with food and wine and we play rock band for hours. We have bonfires on the weekends and I truly would be lost without having her nearby.

I also believe though that just because I dont live in the same town as many of those fabulous women you mentioned that it diminshes our friendships. There have been nights I curl up for a Skype date with Nora or Kyla, or a gchat with another friend. Its as equally fabulous.

and yeah, totally wish that i was within 20 mins of you. or even miles. 20 miles would be sweet (of course, up here, those two are pretty much synonymous).

but really, i’m in the same boat. i have one girlfriend. like, really really good one here in fargo. but guess what? we’re both busy. she’s in school AND has two jobs, i’m in school and have lots of free time now and we just haven’t made the effort to get together more. and we’re in a new bible study now and i know one of the girls and i’d love to be better friends with her, but again, yeah, that finding time and actually hanging out and GETTING OVER THAT REALLY AWKWARD getting to know you stage.

i definitely want some more girl friends but i’m not really sure where to start either. i think that part of it is that my current living situation is a tad stressful for me and so i WANT to have james around all the time to weather that. i don’t want to go home and not have james there but not encroach on his time to be able to do something else – even if it’s just the opportunity to play video games. you know? i’m HOPING that once we get into the new pad, things will change a little bit. and i will feel more comfortable to come and go as i please without having to worry about what mood someone is in.

sorry… i got a little rambly pambly here. maybe there are just some things i need to get off my chest?

I struggle with this same issue. My boyfriend is incredibly social, has lots of friends who live locally, and they’re always making last minute plans to meet up for drinks, etc. I, however, am an only child who is often happier alone than in a large group, has very few friends who still live in the area, and much prefers advance plans to last minute meet-ups. This difference often puts us at odds, because I’m perfectly content making him my main social outlet and he’s not. Sometimes he says I need to get out more, just like your hubby.

So, I’ve made more of an effort. Now if someone does approach me with plans, I agree to them whereas I used to check with the boy to see if we wanted to make plans. I’ve also tried to be more conscious of putting myself out there and making plans with others, but it’s a constant process for me because I do love alone time!

As far as making friends, I’ve found book clubs and other interest-based things work well. But, it takes time. I’ve gone through three book clubs and have finally found people I can relate to. And after about 8 months of my current one, I’m still not at a place where I call them up to do something on the weekend. It takes time and you have to be patient. Just don’t be yourself up for enjoying your “me” time — that’s an important thing and we all need different amounts of it.

Good luck!!