TMI Thursday: Domestic violence?
Hey friends! It’s Thursday! And you know what that means…it’s time for some Tee Em Eye. That’s right…my first TMI Thursday as a married lady. Be afraid…be very afraid.
…
Actually, this really isn’t going to be so bad.
Ready?
Last night, Joe and I were doing the dishes together; he was washing, I was drying. He said something witty or sarcastic or offensive (you know, the yoozhe), and I tried to rat-tail him with the towel I was using to dry stuff.
But you see…I’ve never quite mastered the skill of rat-tailing. Like, at all.
So, after a few pathetic attempts which resulted in the towel merely grazing Joe’s butt lame-saucily, I finally put a little oomph into it…
And what resulted was a sort of reverse-rat-tail, if you will. That is to say, rather than the towel snapping on the outward flick of my wrist, it snapped on that first little inward flick…thus snapping ME.
Right on my left nipple.
So that HURT really badly, especially because I was already in my sleepy clothes, which meant I was hangin’ free, ya know?
Oh but my stupidity (slash lack of rat-tailing skill) doesn’t end there. I was determined to get JOE.
So I tried again.
And this time, I just barely missed my nipple, but still managed to hit myself rather than Joe, right on the inside of my upper arm, just before my armpit. And it left a little welt.
Talk about domestic violence, right? Except the only person abusing anyone was me, and the only person being abused was…you know…me.
That’s what I get for trying to abuse my poor, defenseless, innocent husband. Needless to say, after snapping myself twice so hard that I fell over in a fit of combination-pain-and-laughter, I learned my lesson and left the hubster alone.
Towel-whipping FAIL.
I’ve never been able to do that AT ALL.
It’s okay, though. Know your faults. ;_)
haha! I can’t do it either. There’s an art to the wrist-flick that, if you don’t grow up practicing it on brothers starting at age 3, it’ll never be mastered.
Haha, I don’t think I’ve ever even tried to to whip a towel at someone. I don’t think… at least you got a laugh out of it, besides hurt, and I’m sure Joe was amused as well!
don’t worry about trying to do it “right”…just whip him with the towel as hard as you can….I get Brett all the time
oh man!!! i cannot tell you how hard i am laughing at you right now!!! that’s amazing. i love you!!
You’re so cute! Thanks for the great laugh!
I am a master towel-snapper.
Speaking of TMI, someone once told me that they had a friend who got towel-snapped in a locker room, and that the towel RIPPED HIS SCROTUM.
That is hilarious!
I once sported a swollen, nearly-broken nose for several days because I ran my face into Joey’s elbow during a tickling/wrestling match. Apparently “I ran into his elbow” sounds suspiciously akin to “I fell down the stairs” and “I had it coming”, because he got a LOT of dirty looks over that!
Domestic Nobuse…
Ummm…ya. Supposedly my dad had his back ripped open by a wet towel snap, when he was in the Marine Corps. He was bent over, drying his legs when someone snapped him and it split his back open, right at hip/tailbone level and when he jerked, his lower back discs exploded. Surgery back then (late 1930′s, early 40′s) entailed fusing his lower back/spine together.
Whether or not this was entirely true made no difference to me when I was a junior in HS and got snapped…I gave a warning, was laughed at, and snapped at again. The seniors’ towel connected with my thigh and welted me…My knee connected with his gut, then his nose, then my heel across his jaw. Then I passed out…didn’t remember DOING it but the proof was bleeding there in front of me when I came to.
Lesson? I don’t ‘rat tail’ people.
Sidenote? I don’t give warnings anymore either.
Hows THAT for TMI?