TMI Thursday: When I let out a really smelly fart, Joe says, “And THAT’S why I love you.”

I saw a couple of people posting today with the theme “TMI Thursday” and thought it’d be fun. Maybe I’ll do it every week…maybe I’ll forget about it 2.4 seconds after I post this one. Of course, I am fairly prone to complete self-embarrassment, and it’s always fun to get a laugh by sharing my ridiculousness. So it might be awesome. Anyway, onward.

We’ll start off with something rather mild as humiliation goes. As if my first kiss wasn’t embarrassing enough, how about the time I thought I could walk through walls (or, more accurately, windows)?

It was my sophomore year in college. My roommate Kim and I liked to take our homework and laundry over to one of the freshman dorm buildings, because they had a huge laundry room and it was attached to a nice deck that overlooked part of the campus. One night, we were up on the fourth floor of Trinity Hall, studying hard and checking on our laundry occasionally. Nothing out of the ordinary. It may also be of note (she says casually, like it’s not the reason this whole story exists) that the facilities guys had JUST come by to clean all the windows and doors in the building, probably minutes before we got there. So the all-glass doors, which had all-glass windows on either side of them, were really, really clean. (Are you seeing where this is going?)

Right. So, I went in to the laundry room to check on my clothes, and I left my detergent and fabric softener on top of my machines like I always did. As I started to walk back toward the door, I noticed a guy (probably a freshman who forgot to bring his own detergent…little punk) eyeing my goods. I mean my detergent…not my…goods. Haha. ANYWAY…all this to say, I was distracted as I walked, and kind of glancing to the side as I walked forward, thus not entirely aware of where I was going. (Oh gosh, this is all building up in my head like it just happened yesterday and I can’t help laughing at myself already.)

As I turned to walk through the doorway and back onto the deck, I must have gained some speed, because when I hit the window instead of the door, I pretty much FLEW back and fell on my butt with a hard thud. Yes, friends, I missed the door. I walked into a window. I left my faceprint — I’m talking my WHOLE FREAKING FACE — on the previously spotless glass. And Kim, who was conveniently sitting at a table on the deck facing the doorway of the laundry room, got the full-on show…and she about DIED laughing.

Oh, and so did this other freshman kid who was sitting in the exact same position as Kim, only at another table nearby. Talk about moritification.

I stood up and brushed off my butt, then tried to walk confidently — this time through the doorway – onto the deck where Kim was still in tears from laughing so hard. And as I strolled casually (with what I’m sure was a tomato-red face and a downward I’m-pointlessly-going-to-pretend-that-no-one-saw-that glance) past the other guy who had been audience to my show, he said, with the straightest face and utmost seriousness:

You should try not to walk into windows.

Um…hey, thanks, buttwipe. You know, I’ve struggled with this compulsion to aim slightly to the right of my actual destination, thus fulfilling my daily quota of embarrassing face(or butt)plants, so I really appreciate your sound advice.

What I really said was something more like, “Yeah, they just seem to come out of nowhere.” And he didn’t even laugh! I mean, the whole time…he didn’t laugh. Even in that first instant of oh-my-gosh-this-chick-totally-just-walked-into-a-glass-wall-and-fell-on-her-butt! What a strange, strange boy he was.

Anyway, to complete the picture of Kim’s awesome support of her friend in need (NOT), she then proceeded to whip out her camera and take a picture…

OF THE WINDOW. With my facemark. That’s right, folks, she made sure to zoom in and get every little grease-spot my face left on that poor window. My forehead, my nose, my cheeks, and my chin. The whole package. Luckily, I got over the initial pain and embarrassment pretty quickly, and Kim and I laughed for about 2o minutes straight, totally annoying the weird freshman who was trying to study. And we continued to crack up uncontrollably any time one of us even thought about laundry, windows, or otter pops. (Oh, I forgot to mention that there were a few random, still-frozen otter pops left on yet another table that night, and after this incident we discovered them and ate them. No correlation with the story other than that.)

So, there you have it. My first TMI Thursday entry. Really, it was more like two, if you count the subject. Love it? Tell me and I’ll start thinking of some more for future Thursdays. Or share your own and leave a comment so I can read yours.